A Poem About My Husband

You're my someone to eat cheese with, the moon of my heart, pickles to my ice cream, chunks to my barf, hot-sauce to my popcorn, diet to my coke, the other half to my orange, the funny in my jokes, skittles to my sweet tooth, gas for my tank, you're everything I should have dreamed of but my mind came up blank, you kiss me when I need it, you kiss me when I don't, there's no need to remind you to care about Boat, your grin is like a beacon, in a stormy sea, your arms are like a snuggy, gently enfolding me, your eyes are mine, they never stray, your voice it booms and whispers, but it's always ok, your care for me is present, any time of day and loving you is easy, like a child at play, this stupid wooden poem, could never come close, to the truth of loving you, that I know the most. 

My Personal Testimony from 2006 or so

I wrote this when I was applying to be a counselor for a Northwest Christian Youth Camp.

   This is me. I have been a churchgoer for as long as I
can remember. I can recall standing on the "old pews"
and jumping up and down to the tune of the old-school
hymns, which I know by heart. This does not secure me
a spot in heaven, I know, because my sister went to
church all her young life in to late adolescence and
she turned away and has yet to come back.
    All my young life I had two constants, Church and
school. The rest of my time was filled with unsure
feelings and thoughts. For as long as I can remember
my parents have fought, about everything, from my
weight, to deviled eggs, much to my chagrin. I have
always thought my mom to be the right one because she
took me to church and was my mother who I knew loved
me but happenings in my life have made me realize
that things are not always as they appear.
    Let me start at the beginning, I first remember
asking Jesus into my heart a long time ago, when I did
not even know the pastors name. I was standing in the
great room and they asked if there was anyone who
wanted to ask for forgiveness and accept Christ into
their heart. I raised my hand. This time was the first
of many, many times that I would dedicate and
re-dedicate my life to the Lord. 
    Through the years the Lord has helped me through many
troubling times but the thing I believe was the most
impacting for me was when the Lord gradually helped me
know myself. I look back on my life and reflect often.
I don't lament about it with a need to change the
past, but with a regret that I did not do enough about
the past, while it was the present. Mostly I wish I
could go back and stand up for myself. I can recall
many times I was taunted and teased that simply would
not happen now. I can also remember times when my
parents were fighting that I would sit in the middle
and try and solve their petty disagreements. Just
recently I realized why my tireless efforts had no
effect, I was reading the bible in the book of
proverbs, I have no clue which Chapter or verse, but
it went something like love covers all but I'm not
sure of the exact words, still the meaning is true. If
my parents had just loved one another enough to get
though their problems, my family would not be in the
state it is today. 
    Though in my life, my situation and surroundings
haves stayed much the same, God taught me to change
the way I deal with it all, that, I believe is my true
testimony. In finding whom God wanted me to be (I'm
not all there yet) I lost that sad, annoying and
afraid little girl and became a strong, empowered and
bold woman. I have truly grown up in the Lords care. 
    God has been good to me and the saying that, God will
never give you more than you can take, has been tested
and found true many times. I recall a time when all I
can remember doing is going to sleep crying at night
because I believed I was worthless. God helped me to
know that was simply a lie. I also remember times when
I would sit in my bed crying because my father called
me fat or obese or a whale. (I preface this with the
fact that I am kinda fat and he has told me so since
childhood.) I can recall being the butt of every ones
jokes and feeling so alone and hopeless that I wished
I was dead but God was there, always, to help my pick
up the pieces of my heart and the shards of my pride.
Through many heart to heart chats with God I have
learned that it is not about my weight but about my
ability to forgive and to love without limits. I
cannot tell you how many times I have relied upon
the sureness of God and his grace, mercy and love in
my life to help make it through. 
    To truly tell you my testimony would take much longer
than a few pages, it would take a lifetime and forever
to tell you the feelings, the emotions, and the
reality of God in my life. Through my long experience
with him I have grown to need and depend on him to
lead me to a place of safety in stormy times. I have
learned to rejoice in the small victories and to thank
God for everything, good and bad.
    I am not all that good a writing things down, I am
great at saying them though. I believe that I express
myself best with poetry and since I have met and
exceeded the one page requirement I shall now write a
poem for you so you can understand how I feel about
God, 

Next to Me

Far away and close
You stand
I know the feeling of your forgiveness
I seek your face

You come up next to me
You give me strength
I rise up and cannot fail

You 
watch out for me
You give me love

I feel you holding me
I know you are there

If I knock 
you open the door to me
You don?t turn me away

You are far away 
and right beside me
You are with me
Always

A poem on Getting Older

I Go Around

By C. Miller

Used to go around wearing only tank tops.

Now I go around wearing only tee shirts.

Used to go around to the mall and the movies.

Now I go around to the living room couch.

Used to go around to all my friends houses.

Now I go around my own.

Used to go around making pasta for my homies.

Now I go around making dinner for my man.

Used to go around on the bus or I'm walking.

Now I go around in my own grey car.

Used to go around with my mom to buy groceries.

Now I go around buying groceries on my own.

Used to go around school, study hard, play harder.

Now I go around teaching what I used to learn.

Used to go around, watch them playing.

Now I go around playing for myself. 

Used to go around, young, naive, lonely.

Now I go around, older, and content.

Used go around, thinking time was an ocean.

Now I go around, thinking time's all but spent.

Used to go around wishing I were a bit older, a bit farther, a bit closer to complete.

Now I go around, reminiscing about missing all the little things that make living obsolete. 

Used to go around, be afraid of the end.

Now I go around with joy on the mend. 

The older that you get, 

the more it matters most, 

That days are for living

 not chasing some ghost. 

A poem about the Cares of this World

Weights in my pockets, wings on my feet, I'ma fly

By: C. Miller

Sometimes my lanyard hangs

like a 10 pound chain 

weighing me down 

Sometimes my eyes 

burn 

my heart 

hurts 

and I feel lost.

Sometimes my eyes see things 

they don't want to see

My ears her things 

they don't want to hear
My mind knows things

it doesn't want to know

Sometimes life seems meaningless
Sometimes it makes complete sense


Whenever I think of it, it just depends

My perspective is elective depending on what road I'm on.

My brains collective of knowledge eclectic makes the most of being alone

Dreams may come and time stand still

But my mind it never will

Free falling down to the extreme

Please come down and break the dream

A poem I wrote when I was first dating Adam

A poem titled: Sometimes

Sometimes, have you ever

I mean, did you ever think,

feelings could go so far?

Sometimes, would you endeavor,

have you tried?
Do you know, would you?
Would you follow.

Follow paths as yet unbroken
By the step of man or woman
Would you walk, those walks, with me?

With me, as we each get older
Better now, then went at first
We perchance, took on to measure

The length and depth,

of how we're cursed

Cursed to fall and fall deeply

But sweetest curse I won't protest

Since I have been thus afflicted

I have felt but sorely blessed

Blessed, in ways my words no not

In manners high and sweetly toned

Blessed and blessing you acurs'ed 

How could I have ever known?

A Love Letter

The soft whirr as you lay beside me makes my heart soften. I close my eyes and stretch my hands up, my arms extended in a pleasureable, almost warm feeling, as the tension leaves them.  The smooth cotton against my skin and the calmness of the night make me smile as my eyes flutter open. I see your tattoo through the slits of my eyes, it's colors blur and I know what it is without looking. I love you, It's a feeling I can't quite describe, like an itch that no longer needs scratching or the smell of the last batch of fresh baked brownies cooling on the kitchen counter. As you lay next to me, all I can feel is happiness, my world up to the moment I met you was colorless, darkness, void and with you came the light. I will never see the sunset the same, never taste food the same, even the very breath I am breathing is different because you are near me. Life is more alive. You have changed me into something new, someone beautiful. Before you, I was wasted, I could not begin to understand how much I was capable of loving someone and after I met you, I now cannot understand the possibly of loving anyone else. I passionately and completely devote myself to you, I promise to try to make each of your days better because I am in them. All I ask is that you give me the world and everything in it, and darling, I will give it back to you and everything I have within me just to spend each day held close in your embrace. My nose to your nose, my snot to your snot. You are my everything.